Archive for the ‘Bollywood’ Category

100 Years of Bollywood!

Indian cinema began 100 years ago – although the term ‘Bollywood’ was only coined many years later.

Raja Harishchandra, Indian cinema’s first silent film, was released on 3 May 1913.

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Posted 03/05/2013 by lacithedog in Bollywood

My Name is Khan!

Once again, Bollywood film star, Shah Rukh Khan (AKA SRK) has been detained at US immigration on the way to make a speech at Yale University. The first time Khan was detained was in 2009.

Khan alleges that this was due to US prejudice toward muslims, and I couldn’t agree with him more. The US has this strange bent that anyone who is muslim is a terrorist, which was made clear to me when I played with a computer that had the names on the US terrorist watch list: Gerry Adams, Martin McGuinness, and a few other Irish Republicans didn’t set off the system, but the name Muhammad did.

The US, of course, will deny this sort of thing, but if you watch who watch how the US Homeland Security tends to bead in on Muslims to the detriment of other threats, it becomes pretty obvious.

There have been several incidents in the past of prominent Indian officials being stopped or frisked at US airports.

In December 2010, the US expressed regret after India’s then-ambassador Meera Shankar was pulled out of an airport security line and frisked by a security agent.

Some reports said she was singled out as she was wearing a sari.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was concerned about the incident and vowed to prevent a recurrence.

And in 2009, America’s Continental Airlines apologised to former Indian President APJ Abdul Kalam for frisking him before he boarded a flight to the US.

Members of India’s parliament were outraged after it emerged that Mr Kalam had been frisked and made to remove his shoes at Delhi airport in April.

Protocol exempts former presidents and other dignitaries from such searches.

Khan joked about the incident saying “Whenever I start feeling arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to America. The immigration guys kick the star out of stardom”.

“They [immigration officials] always ask me how tall I am and I always lie and say 5ft 10 inches. Next time I am going to get more adventurous. [If they ask me] what colour are you, I am going to say white,” he said.

Amusingly enough, SRK did a film called “My Name is Khan” was about an American Muslim with Asperger’s syndrome. I think it would be more appropriate if he did something like The Mad Adventures of ‘Rabbi’ Jacob where a rabid anti-Muslim Jew is confused with a Muslim because his name was Kahn.

After all, Muslims can also be semitic people.

Tere Bin Laden–the Sequel–Bin Laden Dies!

If he were alive today, he would only be able to play a terrorist.

Hollywood sources have revealed that casting began for a film about the Death of Osama Bin Laden a fortnight before immediately after news of his death was made public.

The following names of Bollywood stars and one Arab-American actress were mentioned regarding casting for the woman used as a human shield: Priyanka Chopra, Nandita Das, Nandana Sen, Katrina Kaif, Freida Pinto, and Lena Rizkallah. Rumour has it that any non-Western starlet would not be appropriate for this role and that it has been offered to much better known Hollywood Starlets (e.g. Gwyneth Paltrow, Uma Thurman, Julia Roberts, et al).

Casting the villains was far easier with names such as Ahmed Ahmed, Maz Jobrani, Joey Nibras, and other Middle Eastern male stars being easily stereotyped the natural choices for these roles.

Our Hollywood source said that it was easiest casting the Villains since “Everybody knows that Arabs are just sooo evil.”

The real problem came with the casting of the role of the president of the United States as Hollywood executives said that there was no way that a black man named Barack Obama would ever be believable for most Americans in the role of the US President.

Desi and Breeteesh

The food's crap at this restaurant, but the atmosphere couldn't be more authentic.

O.K., it may have sounded as if I were being a bit harsh on Nimrata Randhawa Haley and Piyush Amrit Jindal for being Farangi idiots and trying to distance themselves from Desi culture.

Of course, I come from the Country that gave us Chicken Tikka Masala and I would act differently if I want to do the subcontinental gig. After all, the sun never sets on the British Empire!

Anyway, what could be more like a Bollywood film than having Nimrata do a large choreographed dance routine at her next speech?

Sikhism and Abortion

Yet another treasure I found while looking up other things:

Sikhism does not define the time at which the soul enters a human foetus and so there is no official position on abortion. Even if the time was defined, it would be a personal decision and as with any important decision in our lives, we should use compassion and intelligence.

I found this while looking up Sikhism in relation to Nimrata Randhawa Haley (AKA Nikki Haley). Does Nimrata use her compassion and intelligence, or is she trying to be a Farangi idiot?

Come on, Nimrata, act proper Desi! Somebody put a Bhangra tape on the sound system at her next speech! Maybe we can get her to do a Parveen Babi imitation!

Same goes for you Piyush Amrit Jindal, stop acting like a Farangi idiot!

See also:
Aaj Ki Raat Hai Baaki {Bollywood Mashup}

Ullu Da Pattha

Ullu Da Pattha is an Urdu phrase that describes a special type of idiot who doesn’t know what’s good for him as well as others. It fits the opening sequence. I’m not giving it away, but Ali Hassan’s deportation hearings turn into a grand dance routine in true Bollywood fashion:

Unfortunately, that doesn’t come out very much in the video of the song.

The film was really silly, but it did make its point quite well.

BTW, I find it amusing that Ali Hassan has a poster for the film American History X on his wall and that he mimics Ed Norton’s pose. For those who don’t know the film, it’s about a former neo-nazi skinhead tries to prevent his younger brother from going down the same wrong path that he did.

Posted 12/09/2010 by lacithedog in Bhangra, Bollywood, Tere Bin Laden

Dream the American Dream

I did indeed watch تیرے بن لادن (Tere Bin Laden or in English: Without you Bin Laden) on the anniversary of 9-11. Some might say that a film about a hoax Osama Bin Laden tape would be in bad taste, but it was a very appropriate film. I watched this film at a time when people are protesting Islamic Centres being built near the site where the World Trade Centre stood and insane preachers threaten to burn Qu’rans to more media attention than they deserve.

Why do they hate us?

Do Muslims hate America or what it stands for? And when I say what it stands for, I don’t mean the ideals mentioned in the Constitution (and not the misinterpreted right wing version of that document). It is the misinterpretation of that document: the people who call the US a Christian nation in any form. The people who don’t decry the misuse of military power.

The protagonist of Tere Bin Laden, Ali Hassan, wants to come to America, but due to misunderstandings on his first visit to the US is deported. The film is about someone who wants to live the American Dream as this music video shows:

The problem is that Muslims don’t hate America. Most US muslims enjoy the fact, or believe that they can practise their religion in freedom. They see opportunity in living in America as well.

If anything, people hate the US not for what it is since the official US is a very lovely place. They hate the fact that it is a country that talks about high ideals, but doesn’t live up to them. It’s a bait and switch where the American dream is mentioned, but it doesn’t pan out. It’s a bit like online dating where the person sounds wonderful, until you meet face to face.

This film isn’t very kind to the Americans and their reaction to terrorism, which is probably why it won’t make it to many US theatres. Unfortunately, it’s probably something Americans need to see since they do tend to not like things which challenge their opinions. It’s a shame that a country which presents itself as a “melting pot” doesn’t want to pay attention to what amounts to a population of 1.3-7 Million its citizens (and most Muslims come from Indo-Pak region). In addition, American Muslims have a long and varied history coming from various backgrounds, and are one of the most racially diverse religious group in the United States according to a 2009 Gallup poll.

In fact, American views of Islam affected debates regarding freedom of religion during the drafting of the state constitution of Pennsylvania in 1776. Constitutionalists promoted religious toleration while Anticonstitutionalists called for reliance on Protestant values in the formation of the state’s republican government. The former group won out, and inserted a clause for religious liberty in the new state constitution.

In his autobiography, published in 1791, Benjamin Franklin stated that he “did not disapprove” of a meeting place in Pennsylvania that was designed to accommodate preachers of all religions. Franklin wrote that “even if the Mufti of Constantinople were to send a missionary to preach Mohammedanism to us, he would find a pulpit at his service.”

Shouldn’t that be the way things are now?

Just in time to mark 9-11.

My copy of تیرے بن لادن (Tere Bin Laden or in English: Without you Bin Laden) has arrived from India. It’s a Bollywood film about an ambitious young reporter, who, in his desperation to migrate to the US, makes a fake Osama Bin Laden video using a chicken farmer who is a Bin Laden look-alike, and sells it to TV channels. The Septics decide to send one of their top agents to get this Bin Laden. The film is a spoof on Osama Bin Laden, as well as a comic satire on America’s war against terror and repercussions of 9/11 on the Pakistani common man.

Pakistani pop singer Ali Zafar is the star of this piece. But that didn’t stop the Pakistani Government from banning the film. It was supposed to have a US release date of 6 Aug 10, but as far as I know: the film hasn’t been released yet. I’ve got a feeling that it won’t make it to the USA given that septic go apeshit over mosques and want to put Qu’rans on the barbie.

For a Bollywood flick, it’s mercifully short (about 1 1/2 hour). Most Bollywood flicks last about three hours (really plan on making an evening of those!) with all sorts of crazy things happening.

So, I’ll grab a curry and enjoy since my wife is out of town.

Aaj Ki Raat Hai Baaki {Bollywood Mashup}

Aaj Ki Raat always reminds me a bit of “I Feel Love”, but this version really takes the 70s-80s thing and runs. Parveen Babi was a really hot Bollywood star in the 70s. She was the first Indian actress to have featured on TIME magazine’s cover, in 1975. All my Indian housemates at School were hot for her.

Priyanka Chopra is a more recent Bollywood star and former Miss World (2000). So, this combines two Bollywood sex goddesses. Priyanka made her Hindi film debut with The Hero: Love Story of a Spy. I’ve seen the previews of this, but this give you a good idea of what a Bollywood film is like. Expect loads of Song and Dance as our hero defuses the nuclear Weapon.

Come on, serious suspension of disbelief is required for any bollywood flick!

This is a Remix of Aaj Ki Raat (featured in the film “Slumdog Millionaire”) by DJ Shai Guy.

I like the song anyway.

Bhangra for us Farangis (not Ferengi, they are the aliens on Star Trek) is traditional a Punjabi festival music. It’s been updated in the west with synthesisers and such. It became popular in England since the Bhangra clubs didn’t serve alcohol meaning they could have people who were underage and the clubs could stay open longer before liberalised opening hours.

Hindi Lyrics Translation
Aaj Ki Raat
Here is the song ‘Aaj Ki Raat’ from movie ‘slumdog millionaire’.
Shaam hai, jaam hai, aur hai nasha
The evening is redolent with wine and seduction

Tan bhi hai man bhi hai pighla hua
Body and heart are molten

Chhayi hai rangeeliyan
The atmosphere is colorful and addictive

Phir bhi hain betabiyaan
Yet there is a restlessness

Kyun dhadakta hai dil, kyun yeh kehta hai dil
Why does the heart beat so, why does it say

Deewana ko ab tak nahin hai yeh pata
The crazy lover has no idea as yet

Aaj ki raat hona hai kya
What’s to happen tonight?

Paana hai kya, khona hai kya
What will be gained, what will be lost?

Aaj ki raat

Do ghadi mein hi yahan jaane kya hoga
Anything can happen here in a matter of minutes

Jo hamesha tha mera bhi mera hoga?
The one who was always mine, will he still be mine?

Kaun kiske dil mein hai faisla hoga
Who is in whose heart will be decided tonight

Faisla hai yahi jeet hogi meri
It’s decided, I will be the winner

Oh Deewana ko ab tak nahin hai yeh pata
The crazy lover has no idea as yet

Aaj ki raat hona hai kya
What’s to happen tonight?

Paana hai kya, khona hai kya
What will be gained, what will be lost?

Aaj ki raat

Aao main tumse kahoon baat chupke se
Come, let me tell you something in secret

Rang badlegi pal mein raat chupke se
The night will change colors secretly

Tumko le jaaonga phir saath chupke se
I will take you away secretly

Jaaoge tum kahan, dekho main hoon yahan
Where will you go? Look, I am here!

Deewana ko ab tak nahin hai yeh pata
The crazy lover has no idea as yet

Aaj ki raat hona hai kya
What’s to happen tonight?

Paana hai kya, khona hai kya
What will be gained, what will be lost?

To hear the actual track that inspired this post: go here.

Imran Khan??? (He’s not Jewish)

There’s Imran Khan and Imran Khan and a whole lot more Imran Khans out there. Not to mention the difference between Kahn (Usually Jewish) and Khan (Usually Muslim).

Anyway, yet another Imran Khan has a song, Amplifier, in the BBC Asian Network Chart.

Funny, I keep thinking of the Cricketeer, but have a hard time thinking of him doing hip-hop.